Does It's Just Lunch Really Work?
By Daniel Gourley — founder of The Wingmen, lifelong Phoenix native.
It's Just Lunch can work, but whether it works for you depends almost entirely on how you define "working" — a few good dates, or an actual relationship. The service produces dates reliably; it produces lasting matches inconsistently, and the cost-to-outcome ratio is a real concern for most men in Phoenix. If you go in with calibrated expectations and treat it as one channel among several, you'll get more out of it than if you treat it as a solution.
What does It's Just Lunch actually do?
A consultant interviews you, builds a loose profile, and hand-selects matches rather than letting you browse. You get a phone number, a time, and a restaurant. That's the pitch: no swiping, no endless texting, no awkward profile curation. The format — a lunch or a drink — is low-stakes by design, which is genuinely smart. Short windows, public places, easy exits. For men who are rusty or coming off a long marriage, that structure can be useful scaffolding.
The consultants are not licensed therapists or compatibility scientists. They're salespeople with some intake data. That isn't a knock — it's just important to know what you're buying.
How does it compare to the real alternatives?
| Option | Crowd | Cost (rough) | Effort Required | Best For |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| It's Just Lunch | Varies; screened but not deeply vetted | $1,500–$3,000+ upfront | Low — they arrange everything | Men who want structure and zero app fatigue |
| Hinge / Bumble | Large, mixed, mostly under-45 skewing | Free–$30/month | High — you run it yourself | Men comfortable with self-presentation online |
| Upscale matchmakers (local/national) | Smaller, more curated | $5,000–$25,000+ | Low-medium — interviews + coaching | Men who want serious vetting and are okay paying for it |
| Social/hobby groups (classes, clubs, events) | Organic, interest-filtered | Low | Medium — showing up consistently | Men who want connection to develop naturally |
| Professional networking into social life | Organic, peer-filtered | Low | Medium-high | Men rebuilding a full social life, not just dating |
What are the most common complaints?
The pattern you hear most: matches don't reflect what you said you wanted, the number of arranged dates is lower than expected, and getting a refund or extension when things go sideways is a fight. The Better Business Bureau file on IJL is long. None of that means it never works — it means the experience is inconsistent, and you should read the contract carefully before you sign anything. Ask specifically how many introductions you're guaranteed, over what timeframe, and what happens if you feel the matches are off-base.
Who actually gets value from it?
Men who get the most out of IJL tend to share a few traits: they're genuinely too busy to manage apps, they're not looking for a high volume of dates, and they treat each match as a real conversation rather than an audition. If you show up to the lunch curious about the person across from you — not running a mental checklist — the format plays to your strengths. The low-pressure setup rewards men who are good at real conversation and patient about pace.
It does not suit men who want a lot of volume quickly, men who want to stay in control of their own selection process, or men on a tight budget who need to see clear ROI. If you're still figuring out what you actually want in a partner, you'll burn through the matches before you have an answer.
Which one, when?
Choose IJL if you're genuinely app-fatigued, you have disposable income, and you want someone else to do the logistics. Go in knowing the matchmaking is approximate, not precise. The value is the format, not the algorithm.
Choose Hinge or Bumble if you want volume, control, and a lower financial commitment. Expect to invest real time and develop some tolerance for the grind.
Choose a high-end matchmaker if your time is worth more than the fee, you're serious about finding a partner rather than just dating, and you want someone who will push back on you when your list is unrealistic.
Choose social or hobby-based routes if you're also rebuilding your life more broadly — not just your love life. A men's group, a rec sport, a cooking class, a private club: these produce friendships that sometimes become something more, and the ones that don't still leave you better off.
The honest bottom line
IJL works for some people. So does every other option on this list. The more useful question is what you need right now — accountability and structure, volume and control, depth over speed, or just more people in your life worth knowing. Pick the tool that fits the actual problem.
In Phoenix? Apply for an invite to The Wingmen — vetted members, the city's best rooms, honest coaching.
Anywhere else (or just looking)? See this week's Phoenix singles events — the public slate, updated weekly.
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